A husband’s melancholic tribute from 1857 reminds us motherhood can be a crap shoot and sometimes the best we can do is move on. 

Mother’s Day can be a bittersweet time. Of course we wish all our Local moms a happy holiday! For many readers, though, the day brings pangs of loss and longing.

A Laurel Hill Cemetery monument known as “Mother and Twins” crystalizes these feelings, in a tale of heartbreak and enduring love. The gravestone depicts a young woman sweetly cradling two infant sons. The story goes that the mother and her children are buried here — the mother died in 1857, two years after both her sons died in a boating accident; the memorial is said to overlook the Schuylkill River at the very spot their young lives were lost.

Sad, yes. But true? Not quite – the actual story though is just as sorrowful. Maybe more.

The monument was carved by Henry Dmochowski-Saunders, a Polish sculptor who fled Russian occupiers in his homeland to eventually meet his wife in a Philadelphia boarding house.

How succession forests and wildflowers form a living memorial for loved ones at Laurel Hill

The path to Nature’s Sanctuary is long, a series of turns and loops winding through the many compact neighborhoods that comprise West Laurel Hill Cemetery’s 187 acres, slowly leading toward the northern outskirts of the grounds, where it overlooks the Cynwyd Heritage Trail. The journey lends a sense of significance to this serene corner of the cemetery, where a successional forest is patiently rising up from the earth – and those buried within it.

Beneath the young paw paw, redbud and beech trees, the 478 graves that spread across the site’s two-thirds of an acre are slowly being filled in by people who have chosen a green burial. Interred in shrouds or biodegradable vessels and free of any synthetic chemicals, they will eventually be returned fully to the beautiful nature that surrounds them. On a brisk January afternoon, the sanctuary is in a wintry state of hibernation, but in spring and summer wildflowers burst forth, painting the landscape in amber, peach, lavender and sage.

“People who come here to visit are really struck by the peace and tranquility they find visiting their loved ones in this kind of environment,” arboretum manager Aaron Greenberg says.

Delaware’s lawmakers are ironing out the details of an increasingly popular way Americans have dealt with death: allowing the body to naturally return to the soil. It’s one of a variety of ways to deal with bodies other than the modern, and costly, traditional services involving embalming and burial in a big casket. Eco-friendly methods of burial are becoming more popular, said Nancy Goldenberg, chief executive officer of Philadelphia’s Laurel Hill Cemetery. That’s partly because there’s simply going to be a lack of land for people to get buried in caskets, particularly for urban areas, where land is precious.

“I think this is something we don’t often talk about,” Goldenberg said. “We cannot continue to build cemeteries. The land just isn’t there, and cemeteries are going to fill up.”

Delaware’s legislature is considering natural organic reduction, a burial method that is slightly different from most natural – or green burials – called natural organic reduction. It accelerates the decomposition of the body so it more quickly becomes soil. Some people call it human composting.

Did you know your Christmas tree could be also be a tasty snack for some local goats? The Philly Goat Project is now collecting retired Christmas trees for snacks for their animals.

The group will also be collecting trees at Laurel Hill West Cemetery on Jan. 20.

Laurel Hill Cemetery serves as the final resting place for several people who influenced secular Christmas traditions that endure to this day. On this special holiday tour, guide Russ Dodge examines the lives of several of these prominent Philadelphians, including James Wood Parkinson, a confectioner credited with popularizing the concept of a “mall Santa,” Sarah Josepha Hale, whose early lithographs of Christmas trees laid the foundation for modern decorating and General Hugh Mercer, who crossed the Delaware River alongside George Washington on Christmas Day in 1776.

Uncover the rich history of the second oldest rural cemetery in America on “The Ordinary Extraordinary Cemetery” podcast! Join Jennie and Dianne alongside Laurel Hill Cemetery’s President & CEO Nancy Goldenberg, Arboretum Manager Aaron Greenberg, and Volunteer & Tour Guide Sarah Hamill as they share Ordinary Extraordinary stories of those buried in the two burial grounds that make up Laurel Hill (including two fictional characters made famous in the Rocky movies), their passion for the hundreds of trees, plants, and wildlife that turn the park-like setting into an oasis in an urban jungle, and how vital this cemetery is to the city of Philadelphia and the state of Pennsylvania. “Explore two wonderfully unique sites with an abundance of history, art, and natural beauty.”

In her 66 years, Patricia Quigley has enjoyed careers as a social worker, nonprofit operations manager, real estate salesperson and appraiser, and diversity trainer at a large Philadelphia bank. In her early 20s, she was even a carpenter’s helper and a cab driver while getting her real estate license. She ran her own real estate appraisal business for more than 20 years.

Yet, it is the job that she has held since 2013 that means the most to Quigley … funeral director.

“I think everything in my life has led me to where I am today,” Quigley said. “I don’t know if you would call it fate or destiny, but I felt I had more to give … and this is where it led me.”

It also led Quigley to be named Funeral Director of the Year by American Funeral Director magazine.

The idea that death and dying can be part of life, not handled by walled-off specialists in expensive facilities, has gained traction in recent years.

In a high-ceilinged, brick-walled space in Northern Liberties where people often host weddings, a group of strangers gathered on a recent Sunday to prepare for death.

They had come to learn how to shroud, part of a growing “death-positive” movement in Philly that seeks to demystify and de-commercialize the end of life. Many had been drawn to the hands-on workshop by fliers posted around the city that read, in part, “Yes, you heard that right! ‘Shroud’ as in wrapping a dead body for burial.”

Hosted at the MAAS building, the free event promised a shrouding demonstration (”on a live human”). It also served as the first meeting of a nascent “deathcare volunteer group,” which has aims to help Philadelphians who cannot afford funeral costs prepare and bury their loved ones.

If you recall my rant about the utterly sterile, sad graveyard I noticed in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, in this post I’m raving about the exact opposite cemetery. Its founder envisioned “cemeteries that were also horticultural marvels,” and this one, an accredited arboretum, succeeds big-time.

I’ll start our tour of The Arboretum at Laurel Hill, just outside Philadelphia, with the very showy entrance gardens like the one above. (But DO scroll down to see the stunning green burial site, and how Laurel Hill is enjoyed by the community.)

Established in 1836 as the second major rural cemetery in the United States, Laurel Hill East, influenced by European landscape design and gardening trends, is the nation’s first National Historic Landmark Cemetery and one of “World’s Greatest Cemeteries” on PBS. (Passport holders can watch it here.)

After each section of Nature’s Sanctuary is filled, it’s planted with U.S. natives and maintained as a meadow, like the stunning one you see here in its October glory. Then it’s gradually planted with shrubs and trees as the site transitions into a successional forest.  “All graves are hand-dug for minimal environmental impact; no gas-powered equipment is used. Only biodegradable or environmentally friendly caskets, shrouds, and urns are allowed. Nature’s Sanctuary is a regenerative landscape that offers families a tranquil environment and connection to the earth.” Source.

Most people think of Laurel Hill and West Laurel Hill as historic cemeteries, but they are also an accredited arboretum, with many native and non-native trees. While both have fall foliage, arboretum manager Aaron Greenberg says the best colors are at West Laurel Hill, where visitors can enjoy long alleyways flanked by sugar maples, which are known for their bright red leaves, and by ginkgo trees, which have leaves that turn a distinctive yellow color then drop. Don’t worry, even if you miss the color, Greenberg says the carpet of leaves remains a seasonal wonder. For more professional guidance, join Greenberg on one of his annual foliage tours at East, scheduled this year for Sept. 16 and Oct. 22. Peak foliage is typically the end of October through the beginning of November, but follow their social media for updates.

FYNLRYD has found its forever home parked just inside the gates of Laurel Hill East.

The historic Laurel Hill East cemetery in Philadelphia, overlooking the Schuylkill River, has a fleet of vehicles, including dozens utility carts, backhoes, excavators, hearses, and town cars.

But the one car that most people want to take a picture of is the 1947 Pontiac Superior hearse painted deep purple and trimmed with chrome bones. Called FYNLRYD, it has found its forever home parked just inside the gates of Laurel Hill East.

“Every now and again I would stop at Wawa for a coffee, and one night I come out to ten people standing around taking pictures,” said Laurel Hill superintendent Peter “Billy” Doran. “It’s a fantastic conversation piece.”

…Laurel Hill Cemetery, a longtime Fringe participant, will support six productions on its acreage this year.

“We’re inventing it as we go,” said Brittanie Sterner, manager of public programs for Friends of Laurel Hill. “The idea of hubs is obviously new-ish to the Philadelphia Fringe Festival, and we get a lot of support and brainstorming from FringeArts staff, which is really great. But for us it really means creating a sense of convergence and community, having a space where artists can gather with one another.”

In choosing artists for Laurel Hill Cemetery, Sterner was more discriminating than Cannonball, looking for shows that fit into the mission of the cemetery, which leverages public programming to shift the public’s attitudes towards death.

Two-century-old Laurel Hill Cemetery is a 74-acre garden burial ground elevated above the Schuylkill River and dotted with 33,000 gravesites of soldiers, luminaries and colonial Philadelphians. Stunning views (both grave and nature) abound, but deep into Laurel Hill East lies perhaps the graveyard’s most sought-after view. Secluded along the cliffside between Hunting Park Drive and Strawberry Mansion Bridge is an isolated overlook with incredible views out over the Schuylkill River. (See if you can spot the top of the Please Touch Museum in the distance.) Penned in by a 170-year-old stone fence, the 360-degree view gives an illusion of standing in a grand forest, not the middle of Philly.

If you want to go — ultimately, that is — the way of Nobel Peace Prize laureate Desmond Tutu, better call (email, write to … ) your legislators…

Clay might, in the end, prefer green burial or natural organic reduction (aka human composting) to AH, but Laurel Hill president and CEO Nancy Goldenberg reports that a dozen area families have “preneeded for” — funeral industry lingo for “specified an advance preference for” — AH once it is legalized for human remains in Pennsylvania. Laurel Hill has offered AH for deceased pets since 2018, and its facility, adjacent to The Laurels Pet Center in Bala Cynwyd, has helped raise awareness. Many a pet parent has toured the space — marveling at its gleaming stainless steel chamber and its so-clean-you-could-eat-off-them floors — as have Reps. Daley and Rabb. System operator Eric Ellerbe hopes his explanations of AH will equip — and inspire — visitors to spread the word. “Usually when I tell them about it, they’re excited about the process,” he says. “That lets me know that they’ll tell others.”

More than 5,000 veterans are buried at Laurel Hill Cemetery. Wreaths were laid at the graves of previously unmarked veterans Sunday.

More than 100 people gathered at Laurel Hill Cemetery the day before Memorial Day to honor the lives of veterans past and present.

PHILADELPHIA (CBS) — Back in 1868, Laurel Hill East was the site for the very first Memorial Day celebration in Philadelphia. At the beat of the drums, people marched in Laurel Hill Cemetery.

Some were in replica Civil War-era military uniforms while they watched as wreaths were placed near headstones of veterans like Union Major General George G. Meade.

“The greatest war hero in the history of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia. He was the victor of the Battle of Gettysburg,” Andy Waskia of the General Meade Society of Philadelphia said.

The ceremony brought generations together to honor the true meaning of the holiday.

“It’s certainly more than picnics and going to the beach and vacation and that sort of thing,” U.S. Army Corporal Technician Benjamin Berry said.

“It certainly means so much to me to see the youngsters being brought to these occasions,” the 99-year-old World War II Veteran said.

Sebastian Major is one of those youngsters.

At just 16, he had the honor of playing Taps during the service.

“It’s really important that our generation understands the people who lost their lives either in or before combat that allows us to enjoy the freedoms that we have in this country today,” Major said

Like Easton, many of these nearly 200-year-old cemeteries are still active and popular today, including Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn and Laurel Hill Cemetery in Philadelphia.

Because these cemeteries have faced similar challenges to Easton Cemetery, they’ve served as a model to Easton’s board members in how they can pivot towards focusing less on burials and more on education and experience.

Laurel Hill has a handful of ticketed tours every month with different themes like art and architecture, athletics, music, or nature that regularly fill up, said Laurel Hill President and CEO Nancy Goldenberg. Like Easton’s, the still-active Philadelphia cemetery has its own Friends nonprofit, formed back in 1978, that’s helped to put together Laurel Hill’s extensive programming.

“It takes a while to build up to that level of programming,” Goldenberg said, but it’s built a strong base of interest. The tours, depending on the popularity of the topic, have good attendance, she said, and some of the performance events the cemetery hosts can bring in well over 100 people.

While tickets to Laurel Hill’s tours and events aren’t particularly expensive at $15 to $20, the cemetery’s popularity goes a long way. Easton’s could, too.

Known for its tranquil grounds and compassionate staff, historic Laurel Hill provides a breadth of funeral services and options to honor the memories of those we have lost.

Laurel Hill’s elegant grounds serve many purposes. Chiefly, they provide an inimitable final resting place for loved ones. They offer a serene backdrop for those who wish to exercise, feel connected to history, or simply appreciate all that Mother Nature has to offer. It’s almost impossible to imagine Philadelphia without Laurel Hill, which is rather remarkable given the era it in which it was brought to life.

Laurel Hill traces its roots to a local librarian named John Jay Smith, who had a passion for landscape design. As the story goes, Smith’s daughter died at a young age, and when he went to visit her burial site, he was appalled by the conditions. The early 1800s were a time of heavy industrialization in American cities like Philadelphia, and graveyards at the time were usually attached to religious institutions and not given much thought. Smith made it his mission to help usher in the movement toward rural cemeteries that was starting in Europe. He found the perfect location on an estate overlooking the Schuylkill River.

Green burials are a way of reducing carbon footprints after death while still celebrating the life of a loved one. NBC10’s Matt Delucia has the story.

Get lost in one of the oldest rural cemeteries in the nation.

One of the most scenic spots in Philadelphia? A cemetery. Laurel Hill Cemetery, the second-oldest garden cemetery on the continent, evokes a bygone era when cemeteries were built intentionally in scenic areas, and visitors would come to walk the grounds not in mourning but to see the wondrous architecture and peaceful landscapes. Visitors wandering the free-to-visit attraction’s 74 acres take in 33,000 gravesites, including the final resting places of Civil and Revolutionary War soldiers along with numerous luminaries from David Rittenhouse to Harry Kalas to Rocky Balboa’s fictional wife and bestie. (Download the cemetery’s free app for three self-guided tours.) The cemetery also hosts a slew of incredible activities throughout the year, including yoga classes, film festivals, concerts among the headstones, poetry readings, book clubs and picnics. To access the cemetery from the SRT, just cross the street at the intersection of Kelly Drive and Hunting Park Avenue.

Laurel Hill, West Philadelphia and Bala Cynwyd

Taken together, these two historic cemeteries on either side of the Schuylkill form a 265-acre arboretum with over 6,000 trees and shrubs representative of 700 species, plus a variety of display gardens. Founder John Jay Smith, along with Scottish architect Jon Notman, laid out the cemetery in the “Gardenesque” style in 1836, but it continues to grow and expand. Its newest addition? Pollinator gardens planted in 2020. Be sure to check out their event calendar for everything from tours to goat walks.